Parenting Ideas That Work
Parenting ideas these days include a worldly philosophy of anything goes. Teens are often taught that there is no such thing as right and wrong, what some call ‘conditional ethics’ or ‘moral relativism’ meaning that we can each decide what is right for ourselves. Frankly, I don’t think much of that as a way of life, and even less of it as a worldview.
But are not here to discuss worldview or way of life. This is about bringing out the best in our youth, about creating in the next generation great people, individuals who make a positive difference in the world, not only because of what they do but because of who they are. And this will only happen if we are able to show them that (as grandma’s parenting ideas said) “you can do anything in life that you really set your mind to do.”
My parenting ideas are not revolutionary. They are, in fact based on tried and true methods combined with common sense, an understanding of human motivation, and a firm belief in cause and effect. Have you ever watched the TV show Supernanny? If you haven’t, the star (Supernanny) goes into homes teaching parenting ideas about family dynamics and how to deal with disruptive children in situations from mealtime tantrums and sibling squabbles to terrible travel and bedtime brawls. And one thing that always comes out in the end: to stop the difficulties, she helps the adults change and that begins to change the children’s behavior.
Isn’t that amazing? Not really. Every child is an individual miracle and is indeed completely unique. BUT, up until the age of about 10 years old, family in general and parents in particular exert overwhelming influence – virtually creating who this new person is (or at least how they act) up to this point. In other words, until each of us takes control of who we are, or until those that influence us change, the parenting ideas in our household shape and mold our behavior.
Controversial Parenting Ideas?
You will not find a load of psychobabble theory, only tested real world plans that will work if you work them. Thin, weak, generic stuff won’t do it. Weak parenting ideas and methods raise weak children or abusers who have learned they can run roughshod over people using weak methods. Are the thoughts you will find here controversial? To some….but are they right? You be the judge.
Are you confidant in your ability to raise your child right? Few of us are. Your children did not come with an operating manual. Worse, we are often little more than children ourselves when we undertake the task of “bringing up baby.” We are dedicated to helping families create a better world, one child at a time. If this is your first time here, read the rest…
If You Want To Learn How To Raise Your Child Right:
To that end, you will find many articles, videos, audios and some recommended tools on the pages here. But our primary purpose is to get the ebook Raise Your Child Right into as many parents hands as possible. That ebook is undergoing an updating/revision right now – subscribe to our Mailing List and you will be notified when the update is complete.
While most families today have more material & social advantages than any previous generation, raising kids is more frightening than ever! There are a great many tools available for the parent/guardian who truly wants to learn how to raise your child right, but most of them are broad, non-specific pieces or only pertinent with “difficult kids.” What about the difficulty just raising normal kids?
In the past the family was gathered close about, frequently with three generations living under one roof. All that experience was readily available to help with new children. But modern families are fragmented, living apart and often alienated. Dozens of experts offer hundreds of new and unique ‘theories’ about child rearing while the tried and true practices of the past are largely ignored or forgotten. On this site and in the ebook you will learn about the 7 Keys you need to know to Raise Your Child Right.
Raise Your Child Right: Does It Work?
We can’t live in the past, but there is a reason that people say “Experience is the best teacher.” Because It’s True! This content is the best possible fusion of modern and traditional knowledge. The methods presented are researched and time tested. Like everything real in life, the “proof is in the pudding.” Join us in our efforts to work, learn and grow together.
If you don’t know where to start I would recommend that all 7 Keys will be of use to you. But if you want to jump right in go to the Key that closest represents your child’s age. For example, for those with newborn or infants go to Raise Your Child Right Key #1: Starting Your Child Right.
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Love…..a much overused word. And the definition! Wow! All over the spectrum, from good to bad, positive to negative.
If you’re older than a new teenager you have at least heard the song “Love Hurts” by Nazareth. We listen to those lyrics with mixed emotion, because although we don’t really agree – at the same time, we do.
Love Does Hurt
Love is the thing that gives us the most gratification in life, and therefore opens us up to the most pain.
And our children are what we love the most. Over the years of being a parent and now a grandparent I have made this statement many, many times: Raising children is the most difficult, and the most rewarding thing you will ever do in life.
Love….According to C. S. Lewis
Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. - from The Four Loves
Love and Hurt
I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love. - Mother Teresa
Read more love quotes here.
Attitude in our young people – where does it come from? So often we teach our children attitude without having the intention to do so. They watch us and emulate the attitude we live in our own life. Smiles are contagious. “A smile is something you can’t give away; it always comes back to you.” ~Author Unknown
Attitude Is 100% Learned
Your little one was not born with a good attitude or a bad one. Like prejudice, everything about the way we approach life comes to us from those we are around each and every day.
The question becomes not “are you teaching your child an attitude toward life” but rather “what attitude are they learning from you?”
Do bad things happen in life? To everyone? So, then what difference does attitude make if it can’t help you avoid troubles?
It’s simple really. We have the choice of spreading joy & light if life or carrying the rain clouds of poor attitude with us where ever we go. If life is going to kick you, no matter what you do – and you know it, you still have the same options. You can make people happy to see you or make them happy to see you leave.
Attitude Gives You Wings
Just imagine a child starting out with strong positive affirmations so much a part of daily life that they become the song of joy! But you don’t have to imagine it, just watch Jessica for 50 seconds.
Even more amazing is the things not quite apparent on first view. About half way through you begin to hear a happy baby off camera. As little Jessica is ‘ramping up’ her affirmation the baby is getting excited too and starting to participate! Additionally, there is so much power and detail in her attitude and words that it is obvious that she has watched and listened to someone else do this – she has learned by example. As I said “Attitude Gives You Wings” that is, positive attitude. But what about the other side of the coin?
Poor Attitude Gives You Tears And Claws
Moving through the trials and tribulations of everyday living wears on you. Having a strong self image and positive attitude smooths out the bumps. But those whose family did not give them this gift…..over time they tend to get worn down and ground up in the gears of ‘reality.’ And after too much pain and sorrow many turn mean and begin to bring others down. Misery loves company doesn’t it?
What will you choose for your children? I know, the best – the right way, etc. But do you really think that all the rest of the world choose differently? Not really. You see, we all want to choose right, but the decision is not enough. It’s all about the action. It’s about what we do and say every day, not when we happen to be thinking clearly.
Think on this: three frogs are all sitting around in the pond and after a while they all decided to jump off their lily pads.
Here is the question I want to ask you: How many of those frogs are still on the lily pads? All of them. You see they decided to jump off – but the decision must be followed by action. Can you really lose weight by deciding to? Nope. And if you want your child to have a great life you can help with that some. But only if you start right now.
Popular author Michael Crichton (October 23, 1942 – November 4, 2008) was a lover of nature and the great outdoors. It shows in nearly all of his works: the jungle – Congo; the ocean – Sphere; the world of bacteria/viruses – Andromeda Strain and later – Prey; the overall planet – State of Fear; and in his last work, published posthumously, the world of plants and insects – Micro.
The Lack of Nature
In recent times he joined those of us in lamenting the lack of real world experience that current generations of children have. There are a number of people who are trying to alert us of the probable challenges arising our of this growing lack. In the Introduction to Micro Mr. Crichton joins the ranks of those calling our attention to the many facets of this problem.
Micro (novel) released Nov 2011
Introduction: What Kind of World Do We Live In?
In 2008 the famous naturalist David Attenboroughn expressed concern that modern school children could not identify common plants and insects found in nature, although previous generations identified them without hesitation. Modern children, it seemed, were cut off from the experience of nature, and from play in the natural world. Many factors were held up to blame: urban living; loss of open space; computers and the internet; heavy homework schedules. But the upshot was that children were no longer being exposed to nature and no longer acquiring a direct experience with nature. It was ironic that this should be happening at a time when there was in the West an ever greater concern for the environment, and ever more ambitious steps proposed to protect it.
Indoctrinating children in proper environmental thought was a hallmark of the green movement, and so children were being instructed to protect something about which they knew nothing at all. It did not escape notice that this was exactly the formula that had led to well-intentioned environmental degradation in the past – the deterioration of American National Parks being a prime example, and the American policy of forest fire prevention, another. Such policies would never have been instituted if people really understood the environments they were trying to protect.
The problem was that they thought they did. One can argue that the new generation of school children will emerge even more certain. If nothing else, school teaches that there is an answer to every question; only in the real world do young people discover that many aspects of life are uncertain, mysterious, and even unknowable. If you have a chance to play in nature, if you are sprayed by a beetle, if the color of a butterfly wing comes off on your fingers, if you watch a caterpillar spin it’s cocoon – you come away with a sense of mystery and uncertainty. The more you watch, the more mysterious the natural world becomes, and the more you realize how little you know. Along with it’s beauty, you may also comes to experience fecundity, it’s wastefulness, aggressiveness, ruthlessness, parasitism, and it’s violence. These qualities are not well-conveyed in textbooks.
Perhaps the single most important lesson to be learned by direct experience is that the natural world, with all it’s elements and interconnections, represents a complex system and therefore we can not understand it and we cannot predict it’s behavior. It is delusion to behave as if we can, as it would be delusion to behave as if we could predict the stock market, another complex system. If someone claims to predict what a stock will do in the coming days, we know that person is either a crook or a charlatan. If an environmentalist makes similar claims about the environment, or an ecosystem, we have not yet learned to see him as a false prophet or a fool.
Human beings interact with complex systems very successfully. We do it all the time. But we do it by managing them, not by claiming to understand them. Managers interact with the system: they do something, watch for the response, and then do something else in an effort to get the result they want. there is an endless iterative interaction that acknowledges we don’t know for sure what the system will do – we have to wait and see. We may be right much of the time. But we are never certain.
Interacting with the natural world, we are denied certainty. And always will be.
How then can young people gain experience of the natural world? Ideally, by spending time in a rain forest – those vast, uncomfortable, alarming, and beautiful environments that so quickly knock our preconceptions aside.
Michael Crichton: August 28, 2008
Saving Our Children From Nature – Deficit Disorder
For a clearer understanding of the depth of the lacking experience and detailed examination of some of the trouble it may cause in people, and therefore our world, you should read Louv’s Last Child In The Woods.